I used this in my piece for your Sources and Influences class. In the dark with an electric candle light as the tape recording of how I came to be from my father's death poured out with all of us in like a seance trance confessional. People when the light came up for the last slideshow eyes soaked. You said you cried on the inside I wish selfishly I had seen those tears on your face I don't know why because I didn't doubt your sorrow from my revelation. So many things you have now left behind and taken with you out of this world. Leaving my world I will never really get over it and as mortality has been haunting me not just for the past few months from family situations and going back further in the early Covid era. I wished whatever impasse we were at times that we could not get pass the fear of reaching out to the other and feel too close and the fear of that one that lives deep inside me I don't know how to break it. And I know from your life constant deep connections to others and fears you needed a wall also for protection at times. I'm sorry I couldn't dive over and tell you how much you meant even if you would have hated that sentimentally. Our last time together is my consolation along with the years at ICP, some of my best years despite not knowing it at the time. These lyrics don't really have anything to do with my feelings or how I absorb you but they are always attached because of your influence, and despite my deep insecurities you let me not fear my bones, I hope in the end you did not fear your own.
Time's not your friend
Do you cry, do you pray, do you wish them away?
Are you still leaving nothing but bones in the way?
Did you bury the carnival, with the lions and all?
Excuse me while I sharpen my nails
And just who are you, who are you this time?
You look rather tired, are you pretending to love?
Well, I hear that it pays well
How do your pistol and your Bible and your sleeping pills go?
Are you still jumping out of windows in expensive clothes?
Well, I fell in love with your sailor's mouth and your wounded eyes
You better get down on the floor, don't you know this is war?
Tell me, who are you this time?
Tell me, who are you this time?