My mom at her desk when we use to work at Union Theological Seminary library in 2003 (which is now formally part of Columbia University together) though she obviously had the bigger job and I used to catalog by hand old sermon pamphlets, handwritten cataloging. A nice time in a difficult moment in our lives. I always regret not taking more pictures of the place. That's a big part of being a photographer the regrets of the moments you didn't collect and/or better images of the fragments you did. That's probably much different now for many with the age of smart phones.
I think it's pretty clear that abortion is the winning coalition issue of our time. The numbers in off years are just astronomical for things such as yes or no ballots, picking a Supreme Court seat, language changes to the constitution, April, August, double digits winning in ruby red places, winning by hundreds of thousands of votes?! Like the writing is right there on the wall screaming out to the national Democrats. It's time for a bully pulpit approach Biden and Harris, no timidity or meekness. Virginia rejected Youngkin's "moderate" 15 week ban so no need to word it as Republicans supporting extreme abortion restrictions. Abortion is freedom by freedom of choice, it is healthcare, it is economics, it is the most kitchen table issue ever, planning the rest of your life and your family or possible family, what's more kitchen table than that? I wish the politicians who support protection for it could message it like this.
The American media has lied to us for decades how razor thin a division this issue was, growing up for years hearing this script only to find it was all smoke and mirrors and it's not close at all. Even some of the left shamefully bought into this. Maybe many regular people can't formulate it in this way but they do see a clear correlation of an erosion of human rights overall if a person is not allowed to decide whether they give birth or not.
The numbers mean it's not just the dem base or only the young or only women, it's a cross coalition issue and that is a rarity, grab it by the horns and drive it home. Abortion is healthcare. A person's abortion is none of your business. Abortion is freedom of choice and personal agency. People have had enough of the forced birth movement shoved down our throats at all given times through decades of American media who showcased and propped them up and all the dem politicians with their milquetoast apologizing for being pro-choice.
Abortion is a human right and don't let anyone ever tell you less.
I used this in my piece for your Sources and Influences class. In the dark with an electric candle light as the tape recording of how I came to be from my father's death poured out with all of us in like a seance trance confessional. People when the light came up for the last slideshow eyes soaked. You said you cried on the inside I wish selfishly I had seen those tears on your face I don't know why because I didn't doubt your sorrow from my revelation. So many things you have now left behind and taken with you out of this world. Leaving my world I will never really get over it and as mortality has been haunting me not just for the past few months from family situations and going back further in the early Covid era. I wished whatever impasse we were at times that we could not get pass the fear of reaching out to the other and feel too close and the fear of that one that lives deep inside me I don't know how to break it. And I know from your life constant deep connections to others and fears you needed a wall also for protection at times. I'm sorry I couldn't dive over and tell you how much you meant even if you would have hated that sentimentally. Our last time together is my consolation along with the years at ICP, some of my best years despite not knowing it at the time. These lyrics don't really have anything to do with my feelings or how I absorb you but they are always attached because of your influence, and despite my deep insecurities you let me not fear my bones, I hope in the end you did not fear your own.
Time's not your friend
Do you cry, do you pray, do you wish them away?
Are you still leaving nothing but bones in the way?
Did you bury the carnival, with the lions and all?
Excuse me while I sharpen my nails
And just who are you, who are you this time?
You look rather tired, are you pretending to love?
Well, I hear that it pays well
How do your pistol and your Bible and your sleeping pills go?
Are you still jumping out of windows in expensive clothes?
Well, I fell in love with your sailor's mouth and your wounded eyes
You better get down on the floor, don't you know this is war?
Tell me, who are you this time?
Tell me, who are you this time?
Monday, October 23, 2023
I see people who it seems in any other context should know a thousand times better and those who try honestly to be good and compassionate people (that's what makes it even more tragic and angering) are being propagandized by a powerful state, to agree that in the state's national interest that this state can finally fully get backing to incinerate Gaza and assassinate as many Palestinians as possible. Because of the unconscionable acts of a terrorist organization the world is looking on to excuse a mass genocide and co-signing. I have such sickness in my heart that the people who knew after 9/11 what exactly was going to happen next can't see they are saying this is ok in THIS matter and some of them agreeing that if you don't agree you should be silenced. The spokesperson of IDF said civilians are collateral damage on live TV with no pushback or a "fuck you war monger." People who proudly espouse progressive ideas and even take actual action are complicit. Those also who were out in the streets during the Floyd protest as a lightbulb moment went off for them that the state happily co-signs the people abusing and killing others in the name of "protection" and "service" now have that lightbulb turned off willingly. Disappointing, depressing, saddening, grotesque...And when the deaths pile up to an amount that is even too unacceptable for the media's military industrial complex fever dream what will they say as an excuse? The car crash of human history wages on and it speaks up from it's ever growing open grave "just go beyond the doorway and lock it away to say "that was just human history."
Friday, October 13, 2023
I just heard of your passing from Abigail. I am in shock and frightened even because I had been thinking about you so much recently and what if I do not get to talk to you again and something happens and imagining over and over such a scenario where I am contacted with the news of your death. I want to write more, something more proper later but I just had to say something now, even in the public forum since I will never be able to talk to you again. I just wished I could have reached out more and that you had felt it easier for you as well to me. It was like fate going into the classroom that day I knew you were the person to meet, to teach and guide me in my photographic journey over 20 years ago and I always felt you understood that also. I'm sorry I did not live up to your expectations of believing I was going places. I'm sorry that I couldn't reach out. And I will always regret and be haunted by this even though I know you wouldn't have wanted me to feel that way, but it's the way we feel when people make us feel so deeply. We love people even if one day they will leave in some form and we will be haunted by it, we love in spite of this reality, and I love you very much still though I never said that to you and I always will. R.I.P Robert
