The life you dreamed and the one you woke up to 

in the morning 

soaked to the bone in the attic 

the search party still remembers 

you calling out to them through the static 

I’ve been sitting in the dark waiting for the light to come in, bad strategy

Let’s cut and try again

when all the gifts wrap around you like cellophane that no one will end up opening

 

You dream of a mad yet loving country between us when my most permanent memories are scorn and blood seeping under my armor from your words and borders

The almosts are the death by a thousand cuts

The sailor is a hacker of these oars hammering the waves and shores for the oracle

 

 

Could someone please ask the commodore of this ship for some mercy

For some peace

To stop the phantoms and their pleas

Even though I'm not ok

And I've never have been

I want to find the answer, not if there is a cure or an ending

But if this how the light cracks in

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not ok. I've never been. Is this how the light cracks in?

Take me to a time when I was young...my bones are frail and as I scramble to figure out my name I feel my mouth fade and teeth bite like the plague