what kept me alive was the hope of the pulse of midnight dancing

at least I grew into my jawline, caught in the mirror recognize time is meant to redesign you

The life you dreamed and the one you woke up to 

in the morning 

soaked to the bone in the attic 

the search party still remembers 

you calling out to them through the static 

I’ve been sitting in the dark waiting for the light to come in, bad strategy

Let’s cut and try again

Because bread was so difficult to come by 

let alone wine 

I settled myself in for a ritual 

that out of all my catastrophes 

there would emerge the best miracles

when all the gifts wrap around you like cellophane that no one will end up opening

 

You dream of a mad yet loving country between us when my most permanent memories are scorn and blood seeping under my armor from your words and borders

I've used up all the love inside every emergency and ocean that saw promise in me

I didn't want to lose and I didn't want to bargain

I didn't want to try again

so I padlocked the box and I returned it

I looked at all those alternative lives like a gift horse in the jawline

that ran out of time and got taken out back to be shot

but it escaped it’s captors like a landslide 

it hangs around a meadow of vines, willows 

soft clouds and beaming grass 

After five days 

a low night 

a faithless light 

I dreamt of your return 

You had spirits take the front teeth out of you 

I wish I knew what god could fix it

I spend most of the time at the far side of the windowless room 

near where I put a hole through a needle that lead back to the moon

If you could have hit me with gold and hallowed dust 

the pain would have seen me through enough 

they caught me in this light one day 

told me to no longer move

I have remained a thousand lives this way

somewhere in the past I was pulled onto the ground of snow with blood coming out and said 'can you believe I made it?' with no one around

 Heaven is a place misguided 

a warehouse of weapons armed

an alarm of cautious sirens 

If I had known how long I would take I would have changed

The sailor is a hacker of these oars hammering the waves and shores for the oracle

are you certain you’re not a mirror in the old house everyone forgot about

Lately you've been dodging bullet holes

Fleeing the scene of tire marks

I praise my bruises for a new place to start

Where they can't see the past that tore out all the kind and fragile parts

There is paper and wood I am storing

Axes, boots, and a steady hand for the harshness of darkness & winter

Be prepared, your maker would carry more kindness if only you were a man

It can wire cut fences, mend blind faith and sickness, but it never keeps up with those delicates, who claimed the arrows and carried the wings

My vulnerability makes it hard to breathe

On this journey did I forget anything 

Under the boulevard no one can hear her tapping on the door
is the dream of a rapture, to pull her off the floor