there was no ransom to be paid

At the apple orchard down the street from my house, Fall 1993

though it's all over now your all I ever dream about because I think your the only dream I ever had that I was going to have, and I've asked and wanted too much, so that was my dream and the rest were used before time was up, don't wish young one, your growing old, its over now

17 yrs, does it cut your cheekbone any less, saturate your under-eye circles more, do you have a moment to breathe ? I think I've lived more than I might ever be able to pen, I think I've lived so intently that when or if and when nor how they will slide my body through the back door cold or not, than debriefing will take place and will be more brief either panic or sadness. 

I could have walked away 

one week 17yrs 

but I made a choice, here is to all the choices I made that no longer have merit lessen and deepen the fear

I guess I could have said no but I choose not to. I did not walk away. 

Maybe I took on the wrong set of plans.

me kissing Heidi, night of her euthanasia, February 2004

'this dream always ends'

Getting ready for my friend's band's show, summer 1999.

April 12, 2012

don't call before you change the locks on the door

sometimes I wish I could wish for revenge