Fuck comedy, kick down a door.

Fuck an art response, pull a fire alarm.

Fuck a heart to heart, house a stowaway.

Fuck telling people to wait forty years till the courts get to be reversed, sleep on their lawns, smash open their cars, bolt your bodies onto their vacation homes.

Fuck debate, tell it like it is, tell them Jesus would flip the table against them.

Fuck these doctors letting their patients potentially die, do a John Q.

Fuck the big orgs leaving us like sitting ducks waiting when the powers wrench it all away and tear our lives apart in every fucking state, never forgive. 

Fuck social media outrage posts, storm the halls.

Fuck memes, hack their bank accounts.

Fuck difficult conversations, stop traffic.

Fuck the movement for not preparing us for a strike, never forget.

Fuck it all, start a blockade.

When the fist comes down in about a year will you remember how to say no?

Fuck this rant, I’m just a coward too.

Fuck fear, break the wall.

Fuck betrayal, they're coming for you also.

The past almost decade the wind taken out of me that I cannot live or be the same. Every time I feel I can finally settle and lay my sails open the world keeps changing on a reshuffling loop. It's not being beat down but I recognize a metamorphosis I am going through. Though I don't know if that is necessarily permanent beyond a point of no return way, but in changing there is at least some point of no return. We live such sadder and more disappointing existences than we care to admit with all those dreams we were going to fill quiet, small, hopeful and large. Yet the ebb and flow of many erode. So what now?

Do you miss hope? She hasn't thought of you in the last decade. She says to say hello and may we one day meet again.

Lifetime dating repellents criteria that will make me grow cold and alone being eaten by cats and found in overgrown strangled houseplants and toppled with books on my corpse spiel:

Forced birth psychopaths or worse cloaked in "godliness"

Obviously fascists 

Rightward travelers, lurchers, and stans

If trans people make you piss your pants/give you a venomous chuckle/harden your heart

Anti woke tirades

Irony poisoned pilled brains

Your mind is an exploding hybrid of conspiracy theory melting pots tinkering back and forth 

Natural health freaks that defy science, reason, and logic

Classically liberal dissenters 

Anti vax & Covid denialists and skeptics of the last 4 years (seriously fuck you)

Heterodox moderate sharks (you ain't fooling me)

"Both sides" well meaning fools and calculated swindlers 

Post-left jokerfied dupes

Contrarian con men

"Politics don't mean anything/it doesn't matter" monologues

"Billionaires make the world a better place with a brighter future ahead for us all"

"Low birth rates are no joke"

"You wouldn't have psychological health issues if it wasn't for capitalism"

One of your pastimes is hating kids and even worse doing so loudly and wrongfully complaining how annoying & stupid they are. There is a reason people lose their minds in Children of Men, a film many of these same people love to cite.

If you find caring about and helping people you don't know, never will, and who can never repay you back a waste of time.

If you believe abortion and reproductive rights is just a culture war issue that the left needs to get past and not an ongoing commitment for people's reproductive freedom and self determination.

You think Palestinians are worthwhile collateral damage 

I'm not naive but I find doomerism boring and life is too short

*Did I repel you enough?

 

Yeah my theory of the ruling class tech vultures purposeful intent to destroy art and desensitize humans that art doesn't matter get back to work in our company towns cleaning up the climate change disasters is all on display here, because they hate art and see it as getting in their way all here proven

They are coming to crush us and they are broadcasting it happily. You still going to play with your new AI tools? Hypocritically I am typing from an Apple product because we are so crushed with nowhere to go with little room. Can we as artists at least fight against this dystopia and vision they have for us? I honestly don't see it. They are already doing these teachings in art schools and art/photo platforms giving them so much praise. Reading about FKA Twigs one of the last truly innovative contemporary underrated musicians proudly talking about creating her own AI, made me want to cry.  Maybe I'll be pushed to live miserably off the grid yet.

As AI haunts my mind and I struggle against the rage and frustration that stirs at not merely the new reality, not merely toward the ruling class tech vultures ready to destroy art at all costs, but my fellow photographers and the photo world people for embracing it. The only people who push back are the people in the comment sections. The art world in the larger scope I'm not surprised. Photographers you think would know better but no they actually seem to be less critically thinking on this issue because they're caught up in art theory approaches and philosophical magical fantasies. 

We don't get to do whatever we want because we are artists. We owe the world to be more than solely acting on our own desires to play around in the creative inspired bubbles we move about in. We don't get to make whatever we want at any cost. The world is more than the artist's playground. Some of us could be humbled more than clapping for the technical feats and dreaming about this tool/weapon. 

To the artists who love to act like they play and exist on the perimeters outside of society, we are all here and stuck together, sorry to break it to you. Maybe that's why some don't take us artists too seriously and some even think of us suspiciously.

Many artists like to think of themselves as especially in tune and sensitive people. Uniquely in touch with the world and can provide guidance into understanding it better. A kind of saviorism and martyrdom. Artists overall would be better to come down off the soapboxes we are enticed by. You don't have to give up shows, awards, or interviews, but the idea that it makes some superior in the intellectual and sensitive sense is demonstrably false. Inflated and fawned over egos are never helpful to artists and art as a whole.

To another point, these characteristics lead many of these artists and photographers to see current AI technologies as their god given right to use anyway they like. As well as keep their silence on Palestine lip locked as to not offend potential donors and collectors who believe in a superiority of certain people’s human rights over another group of people. It's amusing to act like this is not what this is about when it comes to Israel versus Palestine. The positioning of a colonial power formally claiming their people matter more.

People don't want to say out loud the obvious in their support of Israel over Palestinians. They believe Israeli and Jewish people who support Israel matter more than Palestinians. They don't see them on an equal footing, they don't see them as human. They see Palestinians as inconveniences. To some others Palestinians are completely invisible. It’s Gaza a strip of land to them not a people. Rubble not bodies. Infrastructure and buildings, not families and history vanquished.

This is what supremacy over others is, this is colonization and dehumanization. Is this so difficult to grasp? Well the above opinion may soon become illegal with overwhelming support of Democrats in congress. Though I heard Nadler pushed back but we’ll see.

Artists can't claim to speak to a universal human condition displayed in their work if they're silent on these issues. A technology that can upend society for most people for the worst including art, because even if you don't care about human society as a whole as an artist you should care about art. The first genocide of the 21st century paid and proudly supported by our government should also be on your radar and alarm if you spent years fearing and speaking up about the maniac who could very well slide back into office. 

The artists's silence as of late (across all mediums) scares me more than the cops beating up student protestors of what signs trying to read into. If artists are so disconnected in this moment they are not going to be some go to for survival and moral guidance in a fascist regime change coming to an election near you. 

Maybe as artist we shouldn't be bestowed as having special moral authority and wisdom to speak to the human condition, human rights and abuses. That we have the key to reach into the depths of the soul to shake its moral barometer. Speak the truth to power, show society the ugliness that underlies it all by holding up mirrors if so many in the art world and photo world can stay almost dead silent on the first genocide of the 21st century in high definition screened and screamed streaming on our phones 24/7.

The real test of an assimilation and falling in line with fascism is not Donald Trump it’s Israel’s genocide on Gaza. Trump is easy to resist, he’s child’s play. It’s frightening yes there are children who do want to play happily with him. 

Excusing almost all hospitals being bombed and destroyed with mass graves found among the ruins. The propaganda of ‘infants are only executed in people’s arms because Hamas is holding them as they point the gun at the brave IDF who do not want to kill anyone,' seriously this was a video. People eating grass, tens of thousands of people dead, organs stolen, people whose heads are found decapitated, surgical tools reused, no anesthesia, doctors murdered, the stop flow of humanitarian aid. The World Central Kitchen executions. Israeli politicians live on camera calling for the complete annihilation of Gaza, people saying they'd love living near the beach as theirs to claim in Gaza eventually. If you are on the side making excuses for all of this and/or support those people regardless because Israel has a right of self defense the right to live by any means and force necessary, you wouldn’t last a day resisting under a real fascist regime. You’d fall in line.

each decade each culture erases all it's prior lessons and then coerces people to spend their time on entertainment to escape themselves

 

*(update note in post)

 I hope that the Democrats and fucking consultants and think tank spawns saw Trump's abortion announcement scam of saying that abortion should be left up to the states and realize what is going on. No it's not that he's lying that's a given (he'll invoke the Comstack Act if he gets in) but it's that Trump understands that abortion is the winning coalition issue of our time! 

👀👀

I was reading earlier today (Mon. April 8) and had to stop because the idiot who was being interviewed a professional Democrat consultant man that worked with Obama’s 2012 campaign said that abortion is important but it really doesn’t show up as a big issue in the focus groups 'we haven't seen it be a motivator for many women as much as you think' !!!! How could this person be getting a paycheck??! Have you not seen the continual avalanches around the country? Why do you think Trump took time out of playing golf, screaming on social media, pocketing more money and schemes, to film and pamper himself in makeup and rehearse the script that he gave, that abortion should be left to the states while throwing the evangelical forced birthers and death cultists a bone calling Democrat radical leftist supporting babies being executed? This fascist maniac knows what's up! Do the people around Biden know? If Biden can get bullied into student loan forgiveness (remember he helped make it where you couldn't file bankruptcy for student debt payments, https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/dec/02/joe-biden-student-loan-debt-2005-act-2020, and that's a huge reason Elizabeth Warren got into politics) and now he just came out trying to help more people out of student debt? So then someone can certainly try harder to bully him on this abortion issue. A Mary Lands the Alabama landslider type might be the right tone and flavor.

- Tuesday April 9, 2024, early am

- update Wed. April 10, 2024 1.54.amish 

 Since obviously lived through Tuesday to see the draconian horror of Arizona supreme court, this is more potent than ever. I honestly don't know how the anti voting left segment's rhetoric are not going to become repellant to the average non-theocratic person's ears at this rate. 

We need to be freed from these forced birth terrorists but they have built such a feverish dedicated network of people (not including buying the GOP) who will harass, threaten, attack and attempt kill you if try organizing to protect reproductive freedoms. But how are we are just suppose to sit back and keep continuing to fucking take it though. Why do we have to play nice and polite? 

  I think also that solely framing it as a woman's issue is not even enough, though I understand that sounds naive but this affects men, not only be trans inclusive of course but men, young and old and boys, because they care about their partners, wives, mothers, nieces, aunts, friends, and people in their community who can become pregnant. I just think a lot about my time canvasing and meeting men who told me all on their own this was a huge concern for them without me poking or asking. It was really eye opening and incredibly moving to me, a person who is weary to hold up much hope in others caring about things outside themselves. For my canvasing partner an older white religious man (who would fit a demographic of being anti choice) fighting for abortion rights and freedoms was a huge issue for him. My other canvassing partner an Hispanic woman said this issue had large support in the community. As there was an assumption I saw in the political consultant class to some lefties online that because a lot of Hispanics are religious this wouldn't be a big issue but it was.

This a strange bellwether moment politically. You can feel it though right? Trump sure as fuck did he told Lindsey Graham off on his social media and Kari Lake who was saying this was wrong even though she supported it in her 2022 election! Run that tape Ruben! Collin in Texas play over and over again Cruz saying he does not support abortion even in cases of rape and incest from a 2015-16 election campaign interview. It's all there for you Democrats you have avoided this issue in real substantial ways for years. 

I don't expect and would never ask anyone who is Muslim, Arabic, Palestinian to hold it for Biden. Cornel West a fine academic is not coming to save us and anti-vax Green Jill Stein is not either. If you don't want to vote then that's what tens of millions of people will do anyway but telling other people and trying to influence them in the general election saying Biden is no different then Trump, seriously you got eyes and ears and a critical thinking working mind right?

Whatever happens in November abortion will be a winner whether Biden wins or not yet his loss will be an enormous loss for abortion and it will be a longer battle when Trump invokes the Comstock Act. But I'll keep some ramblings ongoing till then and after.

Abortion is *__________________* of our time and this man's horrible past record and current helpless incompetence and weakness on standing up for reproductive issues in the last almost 2 years along with his genocidal support for Israel could just take it all out. 

 Democratic primary voters made a horrible mistake in 2020 and everyone else who warned about Biden's early poor performance and ongoing vulnerabilities was shushed and dismissed. Now it's come back to haunt us all. How could this be worse than 2016? 

*1.17.2026*

Abortion is *the winning coalition issue* 

 yes I guess that would take a while if ever, meaning never, since it hasn't clicked for even some of you left wing women who don't get class first doesn't exist without this right. Anyway, at least the amendments being aisle crossed is nice. 

 Coming across the executions of the World Central Kitchen staff earlier and from having read accounts of whatever the fuck non logic looping in Biden's head about this issue of Israel's genocide on Gaza, I realized that Biden is just too committed to change course at this point. Which I feared when the massacre of Oct. 7 took place. I felt immediate dread of the retaliation many could foresee that would unfold. I imagined further into the future, knowing Biden's fanatical 50+ years support of Israel, decades long friendship with butcher Bibi, and how Biden's massive 'don't tell me what I'm doing I know what I'm doing' ego was going to be the greatest hurdle and possibly put the whole presidency in jeopardy so here we are today.

https://www.axios.com/2024/04/03/world-central-kitchen-workers-killed-israel-gaza-jose-andres

https://www.npr.org/2024/04/03/1242489621/world-central-kitchen-aid-workers-killed-gaza

All the hateful people we don’t know that we know.

 Guess what bitches ABORTION WINS AGAIN 👀👀💪💪💕💓😍😎🙌 in an another special election 25 points, and there is handwaving because it wasn't the midterm numbers because this is a special election to flip a traditionally red seat. Yet I counter who comes out in special elections normally?  That ain't the blue team, and not in ruby red state of all places. Then the copium that the district is a swing direction and turning blue and its bitches get on board 25 point landslide!! Earthquake and avalanches again and again. Winning coalition issue of our time I keep saying. 

While looking through a woman artists’s Instagram page I reflected on over the past couple years I see all these actions related to women raising awareness and challenge through art and protest related art works, books, talks small and large, ‘sticking it to the man’ attitudes, speaking out, challenging the status quo and yet all I think is Roe v. Wade got overturned I want power back. 

I do not fucking care about the culture whether popular or “art” world stuff when it talks about the current the first woman___. The first___ woman. I want fucking power back. In contrast it just feels like theater and performance in relation to the material world and our every day needs and realities. I feel bored, deflated and pandered to in contrast to having political command. 

Art can generate and project meaningful ideas and resistance but it is not power. 

One reason I could never vote for Trump is that I don't hate people that much. Sure they are maddening and they scare me with their cruelty and indifference. Sadden me with the hate they become bloated and self righteous with as if they must breathe and defend it till their very last breath. Truly frightening and baffling characters abound in the universe past, present and whatever the future will be some grossness and evil will be there waiting to greet the rest of us. Sometimes I can't believe I am part of this tragic, powerful, horrifying, fascinating species. Sometimes I think god when will it stop already. Where is this meteorite? 

If I let it creep inside too long, people would drive me crazy enough to make me mentally attempt to try and get myself to go off the grid but I'm no misanthrope. Even the people I rage against and those I loathe the most could never make me hateful enough to vote for the accelerationist button. But so many these days don't seem so concerned. Sometimes I feel like that I was just born to witness this collision and collapse of society in this time period or an eventual one that we all are either holding our breath, whistling pass the graveyard, rage-fully denying or pretend to possess that much indifference toward. 

The last four years seem such stark proof. One of the last masking holdouts. One of the few never infected, knock on wood etc, etc because that kind of luck with something so pervasive can't last forever, but it's good in the meantime. Sometimes I feel I am one of the lasting few that felt it actually mattered that because people died and suffered that it's important to live as if to ease suffering that may befall others. And I feel my sense of isolation in the past couple years is due to just knowing that's not a norm from seeing this mass scale rejection. Forget being fearful of these buffoonish beholden to capital governments as they have a mixed bag track record when it comes to disasters like these, yet to see the people in the population and community and their behaviors that is the real failure of this American experiment. 

But what can one expect this country was in the gripes of fucking clown sightings moral panic contagion for a couple months in 2016. And then the Stephen King clown became president and he may become president once again! Now we have genocide abroad we are aiding that has the same range and scope of backlash that took out Lyndon Johnson. That's what the Democrats really can't get over. That and always looking over their shoulder to appease the Reagan Democrat, a real political realignment. 40 years rot that Covid fully unearthed.

Sometimes I feel like Goya as in his witnessing and the survival he took on with the world in front of him wrenched and gutted apart. Though he lived a version that nothing presently in the US could come close to. I still think of his witnessing and that shifting him. I wonder what he would do and how he managed to survive. What he did to live, make art and escape all else. Yet we can't necessarily predict these things of what will be assured methods. It doesn’t hurt to contemplate it’s just sad to know why you are contemplating.

- March 23-25, 2024

No state is more important than people and none ever will be. 

How can so many have lost their humanity in defense of the position that a nation state matters more than human lives?

Do I not just fit into the world? And what kind of world would I even want to fit into if that's the case. 

Watching genocide in high definition, done in the name of protecting people as if they are more sacred and deserving than the people originally ethnically cleansed off the land. Those who remained eventually existed in an open air prison, and now the people who are alive in the present are in a wasteland. But don’t worry if one is to question this logic attacks on their character will occur over and over.

Well fuck that noise. Free Palestine. 

The mainstream art world (and academia) has been particularly cowardly despite positioning themselves as speaking truth to power, free speech and expression. "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable," yet all we hear from these institutions is crickets along with news of people's work taken down, shows canceled, and people kicked off panels. Pop celebrities have taken bigger risks ironically. 

There is worldwide courage from everyday people happening daily and complicity and spinelessness from those with power. Same as it ever was.

From the river to the sea. 🍉

In honor of the coward and warmonger once upon a time a progressive dream Fetterman also known as Israel's cheerleading ethnic cleansing ''if I'm the last man standing on this horrific stance so be it' bully

   A coward, a bully, a poseur in your empathy for the oppressed and forgotten. I think deep down you know you lack sensitivity that’s why you act to compensate whatever ego you have or your weakness and insecurity of one. You are aware there is a bully inside that you kept trying to hide and escape from. Yet now you have acquired power and treatment you feel ennobled you don’t owe anyone anything. You throw your wife under the bus even. You grin ghoulishly at the people pleading for you to understand the Palestinian’s horror and plight of the last 75 years. 

  You lie and say you have no idea what happened to progressives when you have been in these circles for years and exclaimed those were your people. You throw the term “pinko” as if you transformed into some Archie Bunker character. You positioned yourself for years on the political stage saying you stand up for the common man but those with clear eyed empathy can now see right through that. I’m ashamed to have supported and believed in you and waived away my first impressions of you. All those on the political right who attacked, belittled and demeaned not only you but your family now they sing your praises, and you do a photo shoot for one of the biggest media platforms for right wing propaganda. 

  

  One day this will all catch up in some form. I hope one day if you realize what you gave up it pains you a soul crushing ache that never abates. And as you try to sleep off these bouts of dread and sorrow you become consumed with the imagery and screams of the Palestinians. Especially the children who have been killed, maimed, and the ones who have to go on surviving after the genocide show.

Through your dismissal of the Palestinians you have given complicity to the media and political figures finding ways to distort the dead to not be seen as victims but as hollowed ghosts who had dreadful lives filled with backward violent people that didn’t matter. To you those people could never be real victims. Their truth and history is inconvenient for your narrative. But you are lucky you don’t even try to both sides this issue because they aren’t human to you.

  If I were religious I would pray that your fabricated bravery and astute acknowledgment that “war is hell” and full guttural maniacal support of Israel leaves an unmovable stain on your career. But you’re a politician in a country with short term memory of genocidal conflicts this country funds and perpetuates in lands many couldn’t point to on a map because it’s ‘over there.’ You will probably be off the hook by most sadly. I’m glad you blotted out your tattoo because you don’t believe in the core values of any of that. And even if you don’t come to any realizations as most cowards don’t, I hope the screams of the dead and dispossessed in Palestine and all in the diaspora haunt your dreams forever.

 Fuck yeah Ohio, Virginia, Kentucky 😍😍💕💕

I think it's pretty clear that abortion is the winning coalition issue of our time. The numbers in off years are just astronomical for things such as yes or no ballots, picking a Supreme Court seat, language changes to the constitution, April, August, double digits winning in ruby red places, winning by hundreds of thousands of votes?! Like the writing is right there on the wall screaming out to the national Democrats. It's time for a bully pulpit approach Biden and Harris, no timidity or meekness. Virginia rejected Youngkin's "moderate" 15 week ban so no need to word it as Republicans supporting extreme abortion restrictions. Abortion is freedom by freedom of choice, it is healthcare, it is economics, it is the most kitchen table issue ever, planning the rest of your life and your family or possible family, what's more kitchen table than that?  I wish the politicians who support protection for it could message it like this.

The American media has lied to us for decades how razor thin a division this issue was, growing up for years hearing this script only to find it was all smoke and mirrors and it's not close at all. Even some of the left shamefully bought into this. Maybe many regular people  can't formulate it in this way but they do see a clear correlation of an erosion of human rights overall if a person is not allowed to decide whether they give birth or not. 

The numbers mean it's not just the dem base or only the young or only women, it's a cross coalition issue and that is a rarity, grab it by the horns and drive it home. Abortion is healthcare. A person's abortion is none of your business. Abortion is freedom of choice and personal agency. People have had enough of the forced birth movement shoved down our throats at all given times through decades of American media who showcased and propped them up and all the dem politicians with their milquetoast apologizing for being pro-choice. 

Abortion is a human right and don't let anyone ever tell you less.